If Disney Princesses Were Millennials…

They’d still be beautiful, they’d still be idyllic, they’d still communicate via song. They’d just be doing it all in a more millennial kind of way….

Would be Instagram’s dream. With that skin as white as snow, lips red as blood and hair black as ebony she’d gain more followers than Selena. She’d be the go-to girl for makeup tutorials (probably applying her foundation using a lemon) and spend the majority of her spare time testing samples in Sephora.

Would enjoy a rags to riches transformation after finding YouTube fame with her boyfriend. She would subsequently build an empire consisting of her own fragrance, a Topshop range, and a publishing deal. She would have an equally famous dog (probably a pug) who also brings out his own book.

Would spend all of her time binge watching Netflix (without the chill – she’s far too sleepy for that.)

Would be constantly day dreaming about going to Coachella, so she could wear flower crowns and seashells without facing judgement. She’d fantasise about finding a nice hipster boy who her father wouldn’t approve of. One with a beard, a penchant for craft beer, who falls in love at the sound of a vinyl.

Would move to New York City to escape her provincial life. She’d hate Times Square for being too ‘touristy’ but would love Greenwich Village. She’d often be found sitting in Washington Square Park reading classical literature while drinking a soy latte.

Would spend a gap year travelling, only to find a humble, honourable boy who lives in hareem pants and flip flops. They’d fall in love and blog about their travels, which would no doubt include a tonne of pictures of them kissing under various waterfalls.

Would be a highly skilled self-taught photographer. She’d be an expert on photoshop and would always make her pictures look like they been painted using all the colours of the wind. Her camera would cost more than a car, so she’d be working part time in Starbucks to make the payments.

Would always be the smartest one in the room. She’d have an Ivy League education and start her own business, absolutely shattering both the glass ceiling and the patriarchy in the process. Girls all around the world would look up to her for being a girl who’s got a brain, who always speaks her mind.

Would be known for her clean lifestyle. She’d be obsessed with her Fitbit and her Nutribullet, and she’d smash HIIT workouts like a boss (probably on a beach, somewhere.) She’d have about 3% body fat and always post selfies in her workout gear – making the rest of us want to hunt down the nearest slice of pizza.

Would be the super cool rebellious girl, who fights for equality and participates in every protest she comes across. She’d probably have a sleeve of tattoos, a nose ring, and always wearing some variety of tartan.

Would basically be Bella and Gigi. They’d look like Victoria’s Secret models, they’d date members of One Direction, and they’d be proud members of Taylor Swift’s squad.

Would be an aspiring actress. Her parents would be forcing her towards a college education, but instead she’d feel like she was being called to L.A. to pursue a career in acting. She’d come out of every bad audition and reassure herself with positive affirmations. I am Moana, and there is no telling how far I’ll go.


  One thought on “If Disney Princesses Were Millennials…

  1. Robert
    May 27, 2017 at 5:09 am

    And then there is Lady Kluck…who would be the best neighbour one could ever want.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. May 27, 2017 at 5:14 am

    What the heck this post is so accurate I die aha when you want to be the millennial Mulan, but you just Aurora aha love this post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Tee
    May 27, 2017 at 9:38 pm

    Love it! Especially the Snow White/Instagram deal…and Pocahontas and the colours-of-the-wind pictures. You so nailed them! Awesome.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. May 29, 2017 at 2:56 pm

    This post was hilarious! But I honestly don’t see Rapunzel as a nutrition obsessed, more like making hair tutorials and trying new hair masks 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Me
    June 5, 2017 at 3:09 pm

    Haha That’s so different and nice! LOL. Pocahontas in Starbucks and Merida with a ring nose. Lololol haha

    Liked by 1 person

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