There’s certain member of my family who is obsessed with – what I like to call – YouTube drivel.
Over the years she’s inflicted me – and no doubt a tonne of others – to a never ending collection of wedding dances, cat videos and people butchering ‘Let it Go’.
Each time she promises that they’ll leave me in hysterics, and each time I protest by saying that, unless she’s showing me The Annoying Orange, it definitely won’t. (That stupid orange just does it for me.) But she always insists that this one will be different. That it really is funny.
It never is. (I don’t know why I keep trusting her.) But last night we plummeted to a new low.
I was forced – yes, forced – into watching a video of a sweet old dear, in the ocean, struggling to clamber into a rubber ring shaped like a flamingo.
You know the ones.
Apparently it’s got over 50,000 hits (although I guarantee at least 10,000 of those will have come from my house.)
At first I was hopeful there was going to be a twist. Perhaps I was watching an incredibly low budget Baywatch trailer, and after 30 seconds of struggling Zac Efron would sprint across the sand to save the woman, the flamingo, and the tragic quality of the video.
But alas, Zac never appeared. It was just literally a three minute video of a woman, struggling to sit on a rubber ring shaped like a flamingo.
All I kept thinking – after it became apparent that Zac was never going to appear – was, why doesn’t someone just go and hold the flamingo for this woman? Surely that would be a much more valuable use of time than filming the struggle?
But then I guess that’s one of the great unanswered philosophical debates of 2017.
If something happens and it’s not filmed for the internet, does it really happen at all?
(At this point – after wasting 3 minutes watching the whole flamingo ordeal – I honestly don’t know.)