What you are about to read did not come from me. It came from a very talented observer of the world, Paolo Harrington.
Remember that name, for you are about to fall in love with him…
I am the guy.
I am the guy you see over there in the corner of the bar. I’m wearing jeans and an old shirt. I’m nursing a vodka/tonic.
I am the guy that’s quietly watching the TV over the bar. I’m not staring into my phone.
I am the guy that notices you when you walk in. I see you look around, scanning for people you know, or perhaps someone you’d like to know.
I am the guy who sees the hesitation and insecurity inherent in your movements. I see the shirt just a little too low cut, the fold of your jeans you finally settled on after eight different hits and misses in front of the mirror, and the strand of hair that doesn’t quite do what you want it to do.
I am the guy that notices your shoes.
I am the guy you are going to marry.
I am the guy that’s not the tallest person in the bar, and not the shortest. I am the guys that’s not the strongest, and not the weakest.
I am the quiet one in the bar.
I am the guy that prefers life to social media.
I am the guy that can change a diaper and a flat tire.
I am the guy you are looking for.
Open your eyes.
I am the guy that doesn’t fucking care what other people think. Only what you think.
I am the guy that won’t be your fuck boy, for I am not a boy.
I am the guy that will teach you how to make love, not just fuck. You will want to practice this every single day.
I am the guy that’s not intimidated by your body.
I am the guy that knows that while I didn’t write the rules of how your body reacts and responds to men, I do understand them. Which means I know what you want and need – which is not humping mindlessly away on you… and then asking how good that was.
I am not alone. We are legion. Open your eyes. You keep looking for me. Open your eyes. Have the courage to open them.
I am the guy who can command any room I walk into.
I am the guy who is a bad boy with brains. I did not peak in high school.
I am the guy who will love you forever if I say I will.
I am the guy you cannot lie to.
I am the guy you will introduce to your parents.
I am the guy who cries when the dog dies in the movie.
I am the guy who loves your brain, your curiosity, your insecurity, your imperfectly beautiful beyond words you, way more than our body.
I am the guy that doesn’t define you or measure you on how you look. I am the guy that tells you that you look better in jeans and a T-shirt with no makeup, and again at dawn’s first light.
I am the guy that will stand by you when the crush of life is at it’s mother fucking worse for you and all seems broken and lost.
I am the guy that will challenge you. The one who will not let you settle, no matter how hard you try.
I am the guy whose eyes you will meet across a crowded room. My eyes will tell you that I am yours and you are mine.
I am the guy that will hold you tight.
I am the guy that will never give up on us, on you, on life.
For I am your guy.
After I read this I was done. Literally, I couldn’t think of anything else all day.
So I wrote a response.
It’s not from my perspective, as much as it’s from the perspective of every girl who hasn’t quite found their Paolo yet. This is for you…
I am the girl.
I am the girl who looks like she’s best friends with everyone in the bar. I’m wearing something that makes me feel like I have to breathe in the whole time. I’m sipping a Kir Royale.
I am the girl that’s taking too many pictures on my phone – probably all enhanced with some flattering Snapchat filter. (Please don’t judge me for it. If you’re really all that proficient at detecting insecurity, you’ll understand why.)
I am the girl who wants to be noticed when I walk in. So if I see you noticing me, I’ll probably notice you right back. I’ll smile, and hope you’re brave enough to come over.
I am the girl who won’t have any obvious insecurity or hesitation – on the surface I’ll look like the most confident girl in the room – but deep down I’m probably ten times more insecure than any of the girls around me. I won’t have just tried on eight different outfits; I’ll have tried on eight different outfits every day for the past week. I still won’t be entirely happy with my choice. I’ll still think that other girl is prettier.
I am the girl that wouldn’t really want you to notice my shoes. I’m not a shoe girl. However if you comment on my dazzling lipstick smile, I’ll be completely floored.
I am the girl you’re going to want to marry.
I am the girl who is the tallest chick in the bar. It’s kind of my thing. I like to strut around pretending to be the next Karlie Kloss, although I have felt a little self conscious of it in the past.
I am the girl who’ll be laughing a little too loudly. It’s partly a trick to get your attention, and partly because I just love to laugh. I want us to laugh a lot.
I am the girl who has given up trying to handle social media. I’m still learning how to handle life.
I’m the girl who doesn’t need you to change my tyres, even though it sure is nice that you can.
I am the girl who wants to be looked for.
But I’m scared.
I am the girl who cares far too much what other people think.
I am the girl who is very wary of fuck boys. My guard will be up.
I am the girl who won’t sleep with you until you’ve earned a place in my heart.
I am the girl who has been forced into playing too many games. I’m sick of them now.
I am not alone. We are legion. But we’re scared. Yes, we’re looking for you. But we’re scared. Courage in love is difficult.
I am the girl who enters every room like a whirlwind. You will notice me.
I am the girl who will be bouncing around like the happiest, most energised person you’ll ever meet. Please don’t find that intimidating. Be sure that I’m at my happiest when I’m sitting in the corner with you.
I am the girl who wants that deep, real, forever, kind of love. The one where you renew wedding vows every ten years, and get to celebrate a Golden Wedding Anniversary.
I am the girl who values honesty.
I am the girl who cares what my parents think.
I am the girl who will tease you for crying over dog movies, even though I’ll secretly think it’s the cutest thing in the world.
I am the girl who loves that you love my brain. It’s my favourite thing about myself.
I am the girl who specialises in being neurotic. I’m going to obsess over my body, my hair, my abilities. I need a lot of reassurance.
I am the girl who never wanted to settle. I’ll be challenging you every single day of our lives.
I am the girl who is complicated, but at the same time pretty simple.
I am the girl who will hang on every word you say. I’ll replay them in my head a million times. I’ll give you some pretty sweet words back. Maybe some of the best you’ve ever heard.
I am the the girl who would walk across the ocean if it made you smile. I’d do anything to see that smile.
I am the girl who will know how lucky I am to have you. I’ll thank God everyday that I’ve found you.
Find me. Keep me.
For I am your girl.